Change

Hello Friends,

Change is difficult. Somehow I do not think that this comes as a surprise to most. I guess what comes as a surprise to me is just how difficult it can be, like swimming upstream.

I have had a goal for this past week to change just one thing, one habit that I have had for years. Here is the habit: At night, after my day was done, I would sit in front of the television and eat.

This is not a particularly shocking or even unusual habit. But for me, it is a deeply ingrained habit filled with 1,000's of calories, 1,000's of milligrams of salt, 1,000's of grams of refined carbohydrates, and void of any real nutritional value. This is a deadly combination.

This should be a pretty simple habit to catch and to change - HA! Not so much.

How many nights have I mindlessly wandered into the kitchen, grabbed a bag of chips or popcorn or the like, returned to the front room, sat down on the couch, and proceeded to eat the entire (yes, the ENTIRE) bag of said chips or whatever? If added up over the years, 1,000's. I see a recurring pattern here...

Again, I am stunned by my behavior over the years. This is where mindlessness has brought me: the consumption of 100,000's of empty calories. Yes, 100,000's. Stunning - I feel like a deer in the headlights.

I am a numbers girl. Quantifying this is difficult. In fact, it turns my stomach to think in these terms. However, it is necessary when facing what behaviors caused me to gain so much weight. But if I am to remain awake, alive, and mindful of what I do and who I am today, then I must squarely face where I have been and what I have done in order to learn how not to repeat these habits of old.

I am learning... of the seven nights of this past week, I did NOT eat in front of the television for four of those night. Not 100%. Anxiety and fear contributed to repeating the old habit. But four successful nights are better than none. Yes, better than none. Four nights where I chose to say no, even as I was walking into the kitchen once again. I said no to the old habit four times. This is good. This is progress. This is difficult - but I think I already said that. Change is difficult.

This is my prayer: That I continue to choose to eat only in the kitchen. Everyday. Every time I consume anything. Always. And forever. Amen.

Will you pray this with me?

With Much Love and Blessings,
Erin

The Spirit of the Lord will come powerfully upon you, and you will prophesy with them; and you will be changed into a different person. Once these signs are fulfilled, do whatever your hand finds to do, for God is with you. (I Samuel 10: 6-7)

Good Morning

Good Morning Friends,

Day 1: Of course I wake up STARVING! Not even "just a little" hungry.

I have to laugh. For if I do not laugh, what else is left? I will not begrudge what God has designed to be good. I choose to embrace the goodness of feeling hungry this morning.

I am hungry. This means that I am alive. Thank you, God, for the way you have created my body to function.

Some things I already know:

• Mornings are typically good for me.
• I tend to go downhill with my eating as the day progresses, especially after lunch.
• Evening into the night time hours are the worst time for overeating and binging.

What does this mean for me? My journey does not begin with "one day at a time." No, my journey begins with "one hour at a time," maybe even "one minute at a time."

And so, I begin. It is 8:45am. I have been up since 6:15am. 150 minutes of success - I'll take it!

Prayers appreciated. Thank you!

With Much Love and Blessings,
Erin

Lord, may my physical hunger remind me to hunger more for you. Amen

The Beginning

Dear Friends,

The following is one of the most challenging decisions I have made. I have chosen to open up a part of my life and story to reveal both a struggle I have and a passion for ministry I have. My hope, my prayer is for you to join me on my journey and to see where it takes you as well as me.

Unless you have not seen me in the past twenty five years, the following is stating the obvious: I am ultra obese. These are hard words for me to write. Some of you know that in my youth and young-adult years I was very athletic and quite fit. I now have the desire to regain some of what I have worked so hard to destroy with excessive, compulsive overeating. Through very hard personal work I have begun to make sense of what has driven my addictive behavior with food – the numbing out it provided me over the years. I am (slowly) beginning to realize and to know that I no longer need to “hide” inside my skin, behind the fat in order to feel safe and protected.

Now is my time to return to physical health and fitness.

Here is the cold hard fact: I need to lose 200 pounds.

This is an astonishing number. 200 pounds. Wow. As I have begun to awaken from my slumber of mindless eating and numb, automatic living, I am filled with a wonder of how I let my weight get so out of control. It just dumbfounds me. I feel like I have been living as a sleeping giant. But the giant is now awake!

I have heard, read, discovered that successful, long-term, permanent weight loss occurs in community. It is to this community I invite you because I need you. I need your support. I need your encouragement. I need your love. I need your help.

You are probably wondering about the “10:1” at the top of the page. I would like to make this weight-lose journey about more than just me and my health. 10:1 represents a pledge that I am making and a pledge that I am asking you to make. I am pledging $10 for every 1 pound that I lose to be divided equally between three organizations that are very meaningful to me, Joyful Hearts Foundation, For the Sake of One, and Open Hearts Ministry. I am asking you to pledge to pray for me in this journey at 10-to-1 (12:50) every day (preferably) or as often as you can.

Some of you may want to do more. I welcome your desire and offer you these challenges. Join me in weight loss. Share your journey with us of losing weight. Join me in giving. I have provided the websites of the three organizations below; please share with us if you choose to give. Join me in the 10:1 challenge. Pledge to donate a fixed amount for every pound I lose to give to these three organizations (i.e. a penny a pound, 50₵ a pound, $1.00 a pound, etc.).

Since joining Weight Watchers I have lost nearly 50 pounds! My 10:1 pledge will include this weight lost plus the weight I lose going forward. Over the course of the journey I will keep you posted on how much I have lost.

I will be creating a blog so you can follow me along the way which will allow you to provide comments and feedback. I will also create a pledge page and invite you to fill it out to pledge whatever you can – prayers, pounds, pennies (or dollars!).

In the mean time, thank you for your love, prayers, and support. This is going to be some adventure!

With Much Love and Blessings,

Erin

http://www.forthesakeofone.org/ 

http://joyfulheartfoundation.org/


http://www.ohmin.org/

There is a joy in the journey
There's a light we can love on the way
There is a wonder and wildness to life
And freedom for those who obey

                                        Michael Card