Hello Friends,
It has been two weeks since I last posted. Two weeks that have been filled with good and amazing things.
Here is the first good thing: I lost 2.5 pounds in the last two weeks!! Okay - that's an AMAZING thing!! :) I was at Weight Watchers with my friend, Patricia, and when I was told how much I had lost, she immediately responded with delight, excitement, and wonderful encouragement. I just looked at the woman who weighed me in, and I said, "Really?" I was dumbfounded and shocked. I said out loud, "How did THAT happen?"
For the entire week before this particular weigh-in, I was at a conference that had buffet-style meals for every meal. This set-up was a nightmare for me. Don't get me wrong, there were wonderful "healthy" food selections, but there were also many "comfort food" selections like a-mazing mashed potatoes, potatoes au gratin, fried chicken, French fries, ice cream, some pretty yummy desserts, etc. Believe me when I say that I was NOT thinking, "Oh, goody, an opportunity to really apply those WW points! What a wonderful learning opportunity!" Not hardly!
Apparently, I survived the food buffet, but I am still scratching my head about the amount of weight lost. I mean, I was mindful of what and how much I ate, but I did not count points. I think I did more walking during the conference than I normally do, but I did not measure my steps either.
This has caused me to ask myself, "What was different?"
The most significant difference of the week was the conference itself. The conference was a training conference for The Journey through Open Hearts Ministry. It was filled with teaching, small-group time, some group activities, and some free time. I met some remarkable people, and I drew near to a small group of six AMAZING individuals. I think the most significant aspect of the week was that we were in community, deeply connected community. We prayed together, worshiped together, shared deeply, and celebrated mightily. Through the experience, I felt deeply loved, seen, cared for, accepted, embraced, supported, protected, and covered.
How does this relate to me and my weight loss journey today?
I think, no, I feel this experience demonstrated to me something I was aware of, something I intuitively knew, something I have already shared: "success" in my journey will only happen if I choose to invite others into the journey with me. "Success" will only occur if I allow others to truly see me, hear me, know me. Last week I invited six new people into my journey with me, and they invited me into theirs. Last week, I made six new friends: Janet, Kyle, Mike, Rebecca,Tiffany, and Tim. And oh! How I thank our God for each! And I thank Him, also, for each person who has read this blog, prayed with me, for me, encouraged me, hugged me, wrote to me, laughed with me, cried with me, loved me, and supported me.Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
2.5 more pounds gone, and my heart is dancing with delight! Will you dance with me?
With Much Love and Blessings,
Erin
PS In response to my experience at the training conference, I am choosing to add Open Hearts Ministry to the organizations I will support through my weight loss.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Saturday, October 6, 2012
A Celebration of Life
Hello Friends,
Success this week! I am 1 pound down. A pound is a pound. Weight Watchers encourages 0.5-2.0 pounds per week in weight loss as a healthy goal, so I'll take my pound, thank you very much!! :)
This is an important pound for me - I was stuck, hanging out on a plateau for several weeks. And I was becoming very frustrated. Very. In fact, my days on the plateau were the impetus to start this blog. Something had to change because I was becoming angry and discouraged. I could feel myself inching towards giving up, again. But something shifted inside of me, and I felt, I KNEW that things were going to be different this time, they HAD to be different if I was to live beyond the next few years.
For the first time, I chose to take a stand, face my frustration, and choose to use the energy of my anger to propel me forward instead of turning it back in on myself, yet again. I chose to no longer believe the "voices" and messages I have lived by for most of my life, messages taught through the words, actions, and inactions of those closest to me. The messages taught me that I was worthless, that everyone and everything else was far more important to me and to them than me. The messages bound me, like leather straps around my ankles and wrists, around my torso and my legs, around my head and around my neck. The messages told me that to be abused was normal. So, I abused myself.
To become this large took some doing. To become as big as I am required a ferocious commitment to not care - not care about myself, my world, or those around me. To become morbidly obese demanded that I override God-given bodily signals of when to stop eating and ignore the desires to get up and move around, to take care of myself.
The overwhelming energy of the rage and the anger, the hatred and the loathing I experienced I turned in on myself. And I ate. And I ate, and I ate, and I ate. And I stopped moving, stopped flowing, gliding through the air, enjoying the strength and the mobility with which I was blessed.
And I began to die, one bite, one sedentary minute at a time. For nearly 25 years I sat at death's door, letting my innate desire to live slip excruciatingly slowly through my fingers.
Success this week! I am 1 pound down. A pound is a pound. Weight Watchers encourages 0.5-2.0 pounds per week in weight loss as a healthy goal, so I'll take my pound, thank you very much!! :)
This is an important pound for me - I was stuck, hanging out on a plateau for several weeks. And I was becoming very frustrated. Very. In fact, my days on the plateau were the impetus to start this blog. Something had to change because I was becoming angry and discouraged. I could feel myself inching towards giving up, again. But something shifted inside of me, and I felt, I KNEW that things were going to be different this time, they HAD to be different if I was to live beyond the next few years.
For the first time, I chose to take a stand, face my frustration, and choose to use the energy of my anger to propel me forward instead of turning it back in on myself, yet again. I chose to no longer believe the "voices" and messages I have lived by for most of my life, messages taught through the words, actions, and inactions of those closest to me. The messages taught me that I was worthless, that everyone and everything else was far more important to me and to them than me. The messages bound me, like leather straps around my ankles and wrists, around my torso and my legs, around my head and around my neck. The messages told me that to be abused was normal. So, I abused myself.
To become this large took some doing. To become as big as I am required a ferocious commitment to not care - not care about myself, my world, or those around me. To become morbidly obese demanded that I override God-given bodily signals of when to stop eating and ignore the desires to get up and move around, to take care of myself.
The overwhelming energy of the rage and the anger, the hatred and the loathing I experienced I turned in on myself. And I ate. And I ate, and I ate, and I ate. And I stopped moving, stopped flowing, gliding through the air, enjoying the strength and the mobility with which I was blessed.
And I began to die, one bite, one sedentary minute at a time. For nearly 25 years I sat at death's door, letting my innate desire to live slip excruciatingly slowly through my fingers.
BUT! (and this is a BIG but), today I choose to grab hold of what God has given to me, my desire to live, to see, to breathe, to hear, to feel, to love deeply, laugh loudly, grieve intensely, grow intentionally. Today I choose life.
Today, weighing one pound less than I did a week ago, is one step closer to the life God has promised to me, an abundant life, a good life. I embrace my one pound, and I celebrate the life it represents.
Will you celebrate with me?
With Much Love and Blessings,
Erin
This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. (Deuteronomy 30: 19-20)
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